Misadventures of the Directionally Challenged

By directionally challenged, I mean the fact that I can't read a map, sometimes get my rights and lefts mixed up, and still occasionally get lost going home, despite the fact I've been living in the same house for SEVEN years.

That being said, I was dying to find some new places to run, so I found a local park with lots of trails.  I tried to remember where I was going, but knowing myself, I expected some getting lost to happen.

The trail started in the woods.  I love the serenity of running in the woods, but I also get quite anxious.  After all, I'm a fairly petite woman.  When I'm not afraid that someone is going to pop out of the brush and abduct me, I'm worried that some large wild cat is going to eat me.  It also didn't help that I was listening to an NPR podcast about the animals that preyed on primitive homo sapiens.  Since my nervousness was distracting me, my run was quickly turning into a recipe for misadventure.

At some point on the trail, I nearly fell in a hole.  And this wasn't a small hole - no, it was an absolute burrow.  Over a foot in diameter, and angled deep into the ground, right in the middle of the trail.  I ran quite a bit faster because despite the fact I live in northern USA, my irrational fear of snakes convinced me that this burrow belonged to a giant anaconda.  

After about roughly a mile, the woods very suddenly cleared away into short, mowed grass, with no continuation of the trail in sight.  This took me by surprise, so I ran a few circles in the lawn before finally deciding to continue my run on a nearby asphalt road.

This road was winding, uphill, and quickly took me back into the woods, where I had no idea where I was, and only a vague recollection of how I had gotten there.  I really didn't mind - in the past, I would intentionally get lost on runs, so that I would essentially force myself to run for longer finding my way back home, though admittedly, this was when I lived in a city.  After another mile, I passed by an elderly lady walking a beautiful dalmatian.  I took a couple more turns and started to realize that I had been in the woods for a long time.  I was running on a road, but I hadn't seen a single car, and it was getting a little dark.  Perhaps I was beginning to panic, or maybe I was still scared silly from the NPR podcast that was still playing, but I couldn't seem to understand the GPS on my phone either.

I knew it was foolish to keep pushing forward.  Time to turn around.

I was quite relieved when I passed by the lady walking the dalmatian.

After running up and down the same road a couple times, I found my way to a grassy area leading to a wooded trail that kind of looked familiar.  I wasn't really sure though, but figuring I had no other way to go, I plunged into that muddy track.

This time, I was glad to see the giant anaconda hole.

I practically hugged my car when I reached the parking lot.


Would I do it again?  Yes, I think so!

Only next time, I won't listen to podcasts about natural selection.