Being proud

I am done with the semester!  I can't even express how relieved I am, because it has been a very hard semester.  I was a straight-A student right up until I graduated high school, and even though I got a "B" here and there in college I finished my first (very tough) degree with honors.  One would expect college 2.0 would be pretty effortless for me.

Not the case.  Last week, I went into one of finals feeling adequately prepared.  When I looked at the test, it was like it was in a foreign language.  I don't know what was going on with my brain (anxiety attack, maybe?), but I couldn't understand a thing.  I turned in the final three hours later and begged my professor not to fail me.*

Yeah, I'm one of those students who always leaves a test thinking that "I failed" when I probably got B.  Only this time, I was pretty sure I actually failed, as in F.

And yet, I can't regret what I did this semester.  I put in 100%, and while it's frustrating to get such mediocre results, I know I could not have possibly put more effort than I did.  Maybe I took on too much.  Maybe I'm getting too old to compete with the youngsters (I'm only 22, but if you're 18, enjoy it while you can cause it all goes downhill from there).  In any case, I'm proud of everything I did, even if I don't have anything to show for it.

Another thing I'm proud of?  My run last night.

6.1 miles.  8:54 min/mile.

It was long.  It was fast.  And I didn't feel like I was going to die afterwards.  I probably could have gone a couple extra miles, but it was already 7:00 pm  and I was hungry.

Honestly, I don't always love running, but I love seeing these achievements.  Not everyone can run 6 miles, especially the girl who couldn't run the mile in gym class.  Now if only that could get me into graduate school...

*I didn't fail!  Now, wish me luck in organic chemistry...